Why He Stands Back

Journal entry for today:

"I was driving home from eating sunday dinner with my family (Orem, to my apartment in Provo), and this fireside came on. I have no idea who the speaker was. But he told a story, something like this:
When President Kimball was a young man, before he was 'President' Kimball, he rushed to the hospital to be with his three-year-old son. When he arrived at his son's room, he rushed to his son's side. His son said, 'Daddy, if you just hold me, I'll be alright.' But some members of the medical staff asked President Kimball to stand at the door, explaining that they weren't sure how severe the case was, and how contagious it might be. As he walked back to the door, his son cried out, 'Dad, why can't you just stay here and hold me?' President Kimball, overcome, ran to his son's side, but this time was escorted out of the room, and the door was locked. He stood in the hallway, with his hands pressed up against the glass, as his son cried, unable to understand why his father would not just come and hold him.
How does God feel when I suffer? I imagine he stands at the veil, with His hands pressed up, wishing He could hold me and say, 'Everything will be ok. I'm right here. I'm your Father, and I love you.'

I realize and accept that there are eternal laws that bind us both. I must let him in to feel His love. Of course He wants to run to my aid. Certainly He does send the Spirit to communicate His love, at least until the day the veil is rent. Certainly He is doing everything in His power to provide the best possible outcome for me, and to provide the experience that will yield the most joy in the eternities.
So when I despair because He doesn't seem to care, and despite my best efforts to draw close to Him I still don't feel anything; and when I begin to feel like I just can't do this anymore, something has got to give, something has got to change, God why won't you just come down and make things right; when those times come, as they have so intensely with the last few months of my life, I need to remember the Savior.

Think of when He suffered. I can't come close to comprehending that. It was infinite. He cried out to His Father for help and relief in the Garden and on the Cross. And God, certainly aching to help His precious Son, could not. "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
I am so grateful that He did.
Because look what it has led to. His suffering was infinite, but where is He now? He is exalted on the right hand of His Father. And see what it now means for me, and for every one of God's children.

Now I am grateful for the last few months He's been silent."